The Weight of Having

We have bodies and minds. In constant need of care and attention. To the extent of a daunting task. Drop the ball, once, and we’re on the precipice of derailment. Meticulously scrutinizing every ounce of consumption, as not to make one wrong move. Because course correction is a bitch.

We have thoughts and ideas. Worries and concerns. Pollution plaguing the one organ controlling us. A rabbit hole of terror, contemplating the consequences of anything and everything, existing and not, always.

We have feelings. Some good, some bad. Some mental, some physical. Uncontrollable emotions running rampant, ready to change the trajectory of our life at any moment. Glimpses of euphoria followed by unimaginable pain and suffering. Suppressing our nausea on this roller coaster, because the thrill is worth it.

We have others. Significant and not. Some of them wanted, some of them needed, some of them loved, some of them loathed. All puppets of their own having. Out of control and unable to console, consistently creating more haves for one another.

We have things. An overwhelming number of things. Displayed for the world to see, desperate for a wink of admiration. Determining our relevance and status without holding any of their own. Atoms clustered in different shapes, forged with intention and purpose that leads nowhere.

We have obligations. Assigned by who? Caught in a lucid dream unable to silence the deafening alarm with no option to snooze. Typically far less pressing than we could ever imagine. But if we fail to incessantly do, we see none other than the worst that could possibly happen. 

We have wants and needs. Voids begging to be filled. Occasionally occupied by thoughtfulness but mostly pacified by distraction. Anxiety induced comatose paralyzing us as we decipher what is what and what to do about it. Controlled by an outcome completely unknown.

We have dreams and desires. Like novelty items in a boutique. You can look but don’t touch. Likely to cost more than you can afford. Shameful, because why would one dare? Those bold enough to show them light become envied and outcasted, labeled lucky, always misunderstood.

These haves we have without ever thinking twice about them, collecting, stacking, burying us alive, as we passively watch them multiply. It’s not until we have too much that we collapse under the weight, realizing that we have to do something about it. Shifting perspective, altering the power of the verb, we have to change.